Almost Married
by Shade Penn
Summary: Oneshot.G1.AliceXBlurr. Alice "kidnaps" Jason so he can be the witness for her and Blurr's Vegas wedding. Though it doesn't go exactly as planned when the Combaticons show up.


I own nothin but Alice and Shortfuse.

This fic was reference in a Similarities interlude.

* * *

"What? Please tell me you're kidding?" Jason said incredulously.

Alice glared at Jason, who was sitting on a metal table with her. "Does it look like I'm kidding?"

"But," Jason started. "When did this happen? I thought you both hated each other?"

Alice sighed. "We did. But then Shortfuse threw us into a room and told us to sort out our problems or kill each other, whichever came first I guess."

Jason blinked. "So what, you're gonna "kidnap" me to be the witness for your eloping?"

Alice nodded. "We both hate having to be still, and we decided that this was the best course of action."

"So where's this happening?" Jason asked.

"Las Vegas." Alice dead panned.

"How original." Jason muttered. He recoiled when Alice punched his arm. "So is this a right opportunity thing, or have you really thought this out?"

"Of course we thought this out!" Alice scowled. "We have rings, the vows, and the intense like for each other's company dammit!"

Jason flinched. "But a Vegas wedding doesn't give much credibility to your marriage." he explained.

Alice rolled her eyes. "I know that! You coming or not?"

Jason sighed in resign. "Fine. But what about the others?"

"What about them?" Alice asked.

"Doesn't any body else know what you two are gonna do?" Jason questioned.

"Just Shortfuse, but she's covering us." Alice grabbed Jason's arm. "Now, we were suppose to be in Vegas 5 minutes ago." They vanished in a green mist.

Jason regained his bearings at the new location. Secluded, but the lights could be barely seen. "So where's the groom?"

Alice pulled Jason to a more spacious, but still secluded part of the lot they had appeared in. She whistled and the sound of an engine rumbled in reply. "Here he is." she said patting the hood of a blue car affectionately, and Jason half-expected her to kiss it.

Jason then decided to point out one thing. "Where are your rings?"

"I have the fake ones, he's got the actual ones." Alice said pointing at the car.

"So you're gonna use fake ones for this time and put the real bands on after?" Jason asked. Alice nodded. "Where's your outfits?"

Alice twitched. "I had Blurr store them someplace safe before I went to get you." she looked at the car. "Where did you put them?"

"Subspace."

Jason face-faulted. "That's real original."

"Shut up!" Alice punched Jason's arm and she huffed indignantly. "Lets just go."

* * *

They stopped at the entrance to a chapel and a holoform fizzed to life. The person standing before Alice was tall, pale, had blue hair with white bangs, and blue eyes. He hugged Alice and sighed. "I'll bring the stuff, you get us registered."

Alice nodded. "Alright dear." she then grabbed a hold of a dazed looking Jason and pulled him into the building.

Jason stared at Alice in amazement. "You really do like him."

Alice stopped at the front counter. "Excuse me, but I'd like to register for a quick wedding." she said ignoring Jason.

The man behind the counter looked at the two of them. "He your husband?" he gestured to Jason.

Alice recoiled in disgust. "No! He's my witness, my husband's outside."

The man looked out side to see what looked like an older teen holding two thin black suit bags and the Autobot symbol was blatantly on the front of his blue shirt. The man blinked. "Excuse me a minute." he went to the back.

Blurr's holoform walked in and he handed one of the suit bags to Alice. She opened it a little and smiled. "You ready?" Blurr nodded.

* * *

Shortfuse went into the communication room to see Optimus, Sideswipe, and Prowl all around a console Blaster was stationed at. "What's this about?"

Optimus looked at her. "Shortfuse, do you know where Alice, Jason, or Blurr are?"

Shortfuse felt her spark skip. They knew. "Why do you ask?"

"Blater just got a signal saying that three teenagers showed up at a chapel in Las Vegas. Two match Alice, and Jason's description, and the third matches Blurr's holoform." Optimus explained. "Do you know what they're doing there?"

Shortfuse bowed her head. She wasn't one to rat out her friends, but maybe they'd already eloped by now. "Alice, and Blurr went to elope, and Alice took Jason to be there witness."

Sideswipe gaped. "Elope? As in, get married?" There was a sudden buzzing sound and a thud. "And there goes Prowl's logic circuits."

"Sir." Blaster called. "Decepticon sighting."

"Where?" Optimus asked.

"Las Vegas." Blaster said rather lamely.

Shortfuse cringed. "Alice ain't gonna be to happy about that."

* * *

Jason, and Blurr blinked as Alice stood before them. Jason snickered. "That's real traditional."

Alice was wearing a knee-length white dress that flared at the waist and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail with two white flowers on either side of her head. She ironically had the appearance of an angel, though the scowl she had on her face ruined the image. "Shut up Jason." she then went back to smiling angelically as she linked arms with Blurr.

Just as the pastor was about to start, a lot of screaming could be heard from outside. Alice groaned. "Now what?"

Jason looked out the door. "Take a wild guess."

Alice snarled. "Decepticons. I should've known something like this was going to happen." The trio walked outside and Alice toke I the destruction and the vehicles plus one helicopter doing the damage. "The Combaticons? Really?"

Jason sighed. "You two go finish/start your elope, I'll take care of this."

"As an Autobot, it's my duty to stop them though." Blurr said, and looked ready to fiz out, but one look from Alice made him rethink his statement. "Then again, you're very strong, you can handle them."

"Right answer." Alice muttered, dragging the holoform back to the building. Astray missile though destroyed the building. Alice's eye twitched as dust and debris stained her dress.

"Guess you're not getting your deposit back." Jason said smiling weakly.

A dark aura seemed to emit from Alice and when she turned back around, her face was set in a snarl and she seemed to be glaring at everything. "Do you have any idea how much I had to pay to buy this dress?" It came out deathly quiet, and that seemed more terrifying than if she had screamed it.

Jason backed away, and Blurr really did fiz out, thinking it would be much safer to be in his real body. Alice's smouldering glare turned to the destructive Combaticons, more specifically to Vortex. "That slagger ruined my wedding." she crouched down, and did a super jump.

* * *

Jason looked over from his spot beside Blurr's real body to the sound of approaching vehicles. He saw a semi-truck, a police cruiser, a red lambo, and a orange and white Miata. "Hey 'Bots." he greeted nervously.

They each transformed and Optimus looked down sternly at the teen and blue car. "Jason, Blurr, where is Alice?"

Jason pointed to where a metal clanging and the sounds of yelling could be heard coming from. "Alice was pissed when Vortex blew up the chapel she was going to marry Blurr in." A particularly loud clang and yell was heard.

"What is she doing?" Sideswipe asked feeling vaguely disturbed.

"Beating him with his arm after she ripped it off." Jason stated blandly.

The 'Bots couldn't help but wince when there came a very loud yell as a scraping sound was heard. "And there goes the other arm." Blurr said just as blandly.

"Haven't you tried doing anything?" Shortfuse asked incredulously.

Jason stared at her with a dull look. "You can try, but she's already beaten up Swindle, ripped Brawl's arms off, took out one of Blast-Off's legs, and also blinded Onslaught when they tried to stop her."

They all winced again.

Optimus though pinched the bridge of his nose and vaguely wandered how much of the damage was actually Alice's doing. With great resignation, he walked over to where the sounds were coming from. He actually had to scan his own processor to make sure he was seeing this right.

Alice was indeed beating Vortex with his own arm, the other one laying haphazardly on the ground next to them, but it turned out it's hadn't been him yelling, but the other Combaticons, who were worse for wear. Vortex on the other hand was making funny sounds that oddly enough did not indicate pain, but...

"Alice." Optimus called out sharply.

Alice looked up from her place on the ground and upon seeing him, she lazily threw the arm down on the flying Combaticons body, eliciting another groan to which she ignored. "Will it's about time."

"Excuse me?" Optimus questioned.

"You're a Prime, so does that mean you can wed someone?" Alice asked suddenly with an uncharacteristically smiling face.

The Prime blinked at her. "Why?"

"Oh, the pastor that was going to marry me and Blurr is dead." Alice said nonchalantly.

"Blurr and I." Blast Off corrected, only to get one of Vortex's arms through at his helm.

"Alice, perhaps you should discuss having a proper human bonding ceremony first." Optimus tried to reason before Alice caused any more damages.

Alice scowled for a moment before disappearing in a green mist. The Combaticons all seemed to have suffered enough, so the Prime let them have their dignity as they retreated, albeit, miraculously considering their own injuries.

When he met back up with everyone, Alice and, Blurr were already gone. "Where are they?" he did not need to clarify on who he meant.

"They left, and Alice said they'll do the proper wedding if you wed them." Shortfuse said.

"She also said they would be having it in about a month." Jason said.

"A month?" Prime echoed feeling a processor ache coming on.

Oh well, if it kept them from trying to do this again, he was all for it.


End file.
